Mark Wild
November 2012
English 1A Knapp
Youths living in red states
Dear youth residing in the red states,
In the south, specifically in the
red states there tends to be a way of life most people abide by. One that is
simple, even expected and is deeply rooted in the heritage of our families and
community. Your mother, father and grandparents have all endorsed the trend,
and through generations it has been refined into assumed gender roles women and
men play in our society. I am certain
that children whom grow up in a community where men and women accept gender specific
roles are more likely to conform to the norms of their community, and grow with
the characteristics associated with their gender. I assure you that we are all born different, and
that it is ones community that shapes the ideologies of how we perceive men and
women. I understand it may be difficult to accept a person who does not fit
into your communities lifestyle, or somebody who you do not understand, but I
stress to you, youths, to accept the people for who they are and not ridicule
them for how they grow. It can be constricting for individuals who identify with
a non-normative gender role in a society where stereotypes are ingrained in the
culture. Thus, I believe gender roles are socially constructed and not
biological and that it is dangerous for it causes conformity, which in turn,
diminishes one ability to individualize themselves.
Gender is widely accepted as one
identifying with masculine or feminine qualities regardless of sex. Sex, in
medical terms is strictly biological, it is what genitals we are born with. If
one is born in a male’s body though identifies with female characteristics then
they might identify as female. Their gender is female while their sex is male.
From birth we are already assigned gender roles, just minutes after we are
brought into this world we are either wrapped with a pink or baby blue blanket
signifying if we are a boy or a girl. From then on, without choice, the culture
we are born into shapes us with the perceptions of what masculinity and
femininity means, and how it plays in our society. Typically in the south
gender roles are straight forward. Men tend to be associated with qualities
such as leadership, hard work and maintain an image that is distant in emotion
and sensitivity. On the contrary, women are shaped to become domestic, passive,
favoring aesthetics rather then intellect, becoming prizes rather then
individuals. These qualities act as a framework for the norms that are created
in each community and functions as a mechanism for social control. They are reinforced by the conformity of the
masses of people assuming their gender roles, and induce fear in the ones that
don’t fit the stereotype.
This system of social control, according to Linda L. Lindsey in Gender Roles: A Sociological Perspective is
a “Mechanism to ensure that its members act in a normative, generally approved
way. In many societies, when a woman asks a man for a date or a married couple
decides to reverse occupational and household roles, they become vulnerable to
a number of social control mechanisms which may include ridicule, loss of
friends and family support, or exclusion from certain social circles. “ It is
important to acknowledge and understand that the meta message states that there
is no over lapping, there has to be a clear distinction between a man and a
women and the traits associated with the gender. Interestingly enough there has been emerging
research that directly counters the argument of assigned gender. One of which was a groundbreaking study in
the mid 1970’s that supported the idea that men and women are actually more
alike then different. During a study
conducted by Maccoby and Jacklin’s (1974)
The psychology of sex differences,
they reviewed more then 2000 studies of gender difference in a wide variety
of subjects, including personality,
cognitive ability, social behavior and memory.
Popular to contrary belief they concluded that men and women are
psychologically 98% similar, breaking the long accepted myth that girls are
more social then boys and that women are capable of equal higher level
cognitive ability in mathematics and science. Through the power of scientific study and
research we are only beginning to unravel the secrets behind the influence society
has on our perception of gender.
Gender roles pertain only to the
culture of communities and generations and are not a basis of how man and women
should behave. In the United States
there is a well defined image of what men and women are. There is an associated
interest each gender is supposed to like, and a wide variety of activities they
admire. At a young age boys are giving
Tonka Trucks, Plastic Army men and knives, ever instilling these subconscious
attributes to masculinity. According to Michael Kimmel’s article, “Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code”, he
concludes through a series of interviews with men ageing from 16 through 26
that there is a common theme men live by, he dwindled it down into the “real
guys top ten list.” Such attributes on the list were “Boys don’t cry”, “size
matters” and “its better to be mad then sad.”
This, of course, is only a recent generational phenomenon, and I assure
you that it has never been the case. Following my studies in classical music
theory and nearly spending 4 years in the field, I was surprised to find how
different life flourished throughout modern human existence, particularly in
terms of the form of masculinity. If we take a look into history, specifically
Europe around 1800- 1900, and narrow in on the musical culture that was so
prevalent and admired back then, we will fall right in what historians call the
romantic period of music. In this age,
the musicians were considered a modern equivalent of what we call a rockstar, they were popular, mimicked and
appreciated. The artist were not symbols
of sex, nor mischief, there wasn’t even much attention to their image, it was
their music that caught on. It didn’t
sound hard or vulgar, rather high in emotion, delicate, with feminine
qualities. A popular artist at that
time, Chopin was recorded crying as he played his piano during a concert. Emotion was encouraged, the influence to
embellishing in the natural emotions such as melancholy and suppress the
unrestrained urge of anger was approved. It was simply the trend of the time, a
social construct from his society.
If we apply the “size matters” rule
to history we must go back a few hundred
more years to Florence Italy, Where Michelangelo completed his
masterpiece, David in 1504 A.D. This was made during the renaissance, a time
that many historians consider the pinnacle of art as we know it. Where much thought was given to the
proportions of the figure, to accentuate and celebrate the anatomical beauty of
man. His piece, a 17 foot, pure marble statue of naked Hero, delicately
standing with a sling over his shoulder is beautiful in ever right, though I
wonder what a modern man who had no prior education in art would think about
the size of his genitalia. One would think in this modern age that if it were a
celebration of the anatomy of man, the artist would make sure he was making it
rememberable by exaggerating the size of his penis. Though in fact, at that
time many artists including Michelangelo considered a large genital to be
comical and grotesque, thus kept it small for aesthetic purposes. If we applied
that perspective to the modern stigma men have with their genital size, no
question there would be backlash by men claiming that sizing down the
proportions would diminish the figures manhood. That is an opinion, a
perspective that has been created by culture and by no means is a fixed
biological or psychological viewpoint.
I grew up in a family where I was
the only male presence, as I grew older I discovered the subtle influences my
mother and sisters bestowed upon me, which has shaped me for who I am now. My
mother is an artist, her medium is oil paint and her specialty is realism. She grew
up in the 60’s and was inspired by the feminist movement during that era, a
time when America was split between the normative traditional gender roles of
the 50’s and the progressive new age flower children of the later decade. These experiences have rooted into her
character and though she is never outspoken, there is a sense of confidence and
strong will within her. Conscience or not, my sisters both adopted her strong
sense of identity, and by the time I was born one of the first rules of life I
learned was to treat women fairly and with respect. From then on, being the
runt of the family, I was at the mercy of my sisters, so instead of a childhood
shaped by men, I grew in an environment with a steady understanding of femininity. At the age of maturity, around 14 years of
age, I was just starting to understand my place in the world, I noticed that I
found it easier to relate to women more then men. In fact, I can recall a
moment hearing my friend who was one of 2 sons mentioning a girl he liked as
“bitch” or “hoe”, I noticed at that point a disconnect in his nature that was
likely derived from living in an environment of little female presence in a male
dominated household. As I got older, so did my qualities and even to this day,
out of all the characters in the world, over-masculine men are often the least
relatable people I have come across. I found that the culture of masculinity
was never ingrained in me, it wasn’t a choice, I just never had the influence. I
adopted the norms of my household, and through decades living with my family I
have learned to empathies with women and share similar perspectives. I am still
a man, I enjoy doing “manly” things, I love to rock climb and an occasional
violent video game. Though underneath the surface I am in touch with a feminine
side, one that is sensitive, highly emotional and understands the baggage most
women have to face in a society that has been male dominate for a better part
of a century. I was never hardwired with a masculine perspective, rather it was
my mother and sisters who created that impact on my life.
As I mentioned, conformity is
dangerous. It has the ability to cripple
individualism by fear of being isolated from the community. Homosexuals tend to be the victims,
especially in an environment that favors traditional gender roles over
progressive ones. Some Forms of homosexuality tend to emphasis feminine
characteristics, a sense of flamboyancy. In theory, if one who carries such
traits were to grow up in a town that perceived men as the highest regard of
masculinity, or if it was in a state where homosexuality isn’t considered an
act of love but rather has a hostel take on the matter, then homosexuals will
no doubt feel oppressed, disempowered, and alone. This example shows how a
society has the influence to alter the ideas of gender roles, and that it can
be constricting to a person who identifies with different gender
characteristics. Community has a major
impact on peoples lives, homosexuals, for fear of being misunderstood and
ostracized often don’t fully come out to their peers and stick to there
cultural norms. In many cases, homosexuals have taken their lives because they
do take the risk to come out, and get ridiculed for the fact that they were
born gay. If the community supported
homosexuality, then that individual would feel accepted, find their identity
and feel free. It is important to have an open minded community because we
learn from people we don’t understand, for they bring new idea’s and
perspective, they have great possibilities of contributing good back into the
community.
I ask of you, southern youths, to
accept people for who they are. If you
do not understand them, or if they don’t live how you live you should not fret.
People are different, every culture on this planet functions different from our
own but in the end we are all the same flesh and bones. There is no right or
wrong way a women or a man acts, gender images are linked to culture and
culture is a constantly changing phenomenon, therefore the perception of gender
is never consistent. Be mindful of the
influences of your community, and the forces that push you into their
lifestyle. If you are aware, you can
break free from the boundaries, but most importantly, free yourself as an
individual.
Sincerely,
Mark Wild, Cabrillo College
Annotated
Bibliography
Vogel, D., Wester, S.
, Heesacker, M. , Madon, S. “Confirming
Gender Sterrotypes: A Social Role Perspective.”
Sex Roles, Vol 48, Nos. 11/12, June 2003
According to this article, social expectation of how genders
are supposed to behave is widely believed to be vastly different. Contrary to
assumption, Analysis indicates that men and women behave similarly much of the
time. Though when in a relationship,
both genders tend to stick with their stereotypical roles. There is an
underlying expectation to maintain a typical gender role, because behaving
consistently with normative expectations is less risky than behaving in a
nonnormitive manner. This can be boiled down to people’s fear of being hurt,
rejected, or misunderstood. From an early age we learn the basic normative
model of how men and women act, separately and injunction with each other. We find it much easier to behave in these
expected ways in a relationship then not, it also causes less problems when one
maintains their roles. These situational factors influence the extent in which
women and men confirm the stereotypes. Interesting to note, through a case
study in this article it was confirmed that if a partner is emotionally
vulnerable they are more likely to maintain their stereotypical gender role.
Lindsey, Linda “Gender Roles, A Sociological
Perspective” Maryville University, St.
Louis, Pearson Prentice Hall, 2005
According to Linda Lindsey, Gender roles are reinforced by
Social influences and culture. She states that from a very young age we are
influenced by are society, when we are born we are wrapped in ether a blue or
pink blanket, proclaiming what gender we are. These influences carry on
throughout our lives, at the age of 5- 10 we are given toys that reflect of
gender, boys are more often given toy tanks, constructive materials like legos
then barbies. While girls are given toys that reflect a more aesthetic approach
like brushes, dolls and mock babies. Throughout our lives our culture is
constantly feeding us products that are aimed and synonymous with our gender.
Lindsey states that our culture commands expectations according to gender and
that if one chooses another course of action that differs from the accepted
norm, they are at risk of social disapproval.
According to Lindsey ”Conformity becomes a matter of providing cultural
mechanisms for social control.” Meaning
that every society has a basis for what is considered normal that is generally
approved. If one does not abide by their expected gender roles they are vulnerable
to a number of social control reactions that can include ridicule, loss of
friends and family, in turn forcing us to maintain our expected way to live.
Kimmel, Michael. "Bros
Before Hos": The Guy Code. Rereading America. Boston: Bedford/
St. Martins, 2001. Print
“Bros
Before Hos” is an experience Michael Kimmel underwent where he interview boy
and men from age 16 to 26 from all around the united state. He claims that
there is an underlying framework males abide by, and that its monitored and
controlled by men. These rules are what
modern men conceptualize as masculine
and are the upmost importance in masculine etiquette.
Additional
Citations
Warber, Katie, And Tara Emmers-Sommer. The Relationship among Sex, Gender and Attachment. New York: Untested Ideas Research Center. Web.
http://www.untestedideas.com/uploads/3/1/1/6/3116134/sex_gender_and_attachment.pdf
